THe Lift

'Existential nihilism is the philosophical theory that life has no intrinsic meaning or value. With respect to the universe, existential nihilism suggests that a single human or even the entire human species is insignificant, without purpose and unlikely to change in the totality of existence. According to the theory, each individual is an isolated being born into the universe, barred from knowing "why", yet compelled to invent meaning.'

It's easy to be a Nihilist.  Not take responsibility for anything and complain about the world.  I've been there, done that.  In fact in my late twenties my career plan was to drink more red wine and maybe build a shack in the back blocks and drink more red wine as my levels of cynicism peaked.  

But in the back of my mind, I knew that was a self-deceit which was trying to cheat my soul's reasons for being here on the planet.  And though t came down to me...'there has to more to life than than this dead-end'.  

Soon after that in about the year 2000 I went along to a massage in Canberra.  Half through I suddenly felt flushed with heat, then I just burst into tears and sobbing uncontrollably for what seemed a long time. The massage therapist excused herself when this started and I mumbled that I would be okay.  Then it clicked.  My underlying anxiety was locked up in my nervous system.  Somehow this massage therapist unlocked long held emotional tension in my musculature.   

I eventually hauled myself off the table, paid the masseur and sat under a big gum tree for some time feeling very clear and soft in my body.  What became clear to me was that my own damned up trauma has somehow been released and that this was the true beginning of my healing journey.  

There was more to my existence than thinking that life was generally meaningless.  This set me on the path toward Bodywork and Breathwork.