relationships are challenging...here's why
Some great reasons to explore Shadow Tantra
(from Arven Alexander's book "Shadows of Tantra")
I'll expand on these each day over the next week. Juicy topics.
How do we start feeling comfortable with our sexuality? Despite lots of sexual 'freedom' in our culture, true intimate relationships can be still be a rare thing.
What blocks us from connecting? I know myself it's very easy to go all rational and heady in the middle of sex, to avoid being vulnerable. Could it be that the sexual act is the key to opening our hearts if just cultivate some time to feel?
And what happens when those feelings are unlocked. It might not all be that sexy at all but deep unresolved insecurities can come up in threat moment or the day after. How can I navigate that without starting to blame those feelings on my partner?
In our Taste of Tantra retreat next year we will be able to explore in great depth what are blocks to really going 'higher' through intimacy and sex. Part of that will be looking at the shadow of ourselves, including sexual shadows which keep recurring.
This is new territory for us both here at Inspired Breath, but we stand fully prepared to deliver a powerful retreat full of colour, profound insight and deep healing.
Just been examining the idea of freedom recently in the media, in particular an article by Jeff Sparrow in the Guardian.
Freedom is such a misnomer in our society. I have the right to choose many things, but I cannot choose to easily escape my own prisons of the mind / soul. Am I trapped in my own gilded gold cage? Is a life of comfort diminishing my senses? Diminishing my choices?
The thirst for a non-ordinary state of consciousness springs from my desire to 'escape' the mundane. Hence we also have the desire for men to fight in wars - to escape the banal realities of modern western suburban life. Some soldiers will return, not with PTSD, but with a memory that the war zone was the highest peak experience of their life - a chance to lead a truly heroic life.
Our efforts at peace in the world need to take account of such desires in the male psyche. Yes we can have peace, but we must make room for heroic journey's, not just in Harry Potter books, but to construct those opportunities in our social worlds.
This then opens whole new ways of living - gradually replacing the technocratic with story - telling and the hero's journey.
Why do we become withdrawn? Energy can ebb and flow in life, sometimes it's better to go toward the within, rather than resist it. Sometimes layers of unexpressed energy can condense and make us feel very dense and heavy. This is where using dynamic breathing styles such as charkra breathing and fast movement can help break through this density. As the life force flows, we can make more room for those feelings of lightness of being.
Our next retreat is called 'The Hunger for Ecstasy' : some thoughts from Jalaja Bonheim -
" I wholeheartedly disagree with those who condemn desire an an obstacle to spiritual evolution. In my opinion, advising people to renounce their desires does them a serious disservice.
First, it simply doesn't work. I have witnessed at least a dozen spiritual organisations destroyed by sexual scandal. In every case, those involved were desperately maintaining the pretense of having transcended desire. Wherever desire is scorned, hypocrisy and deceit abound. Moreover in rejecting desire, we reject one of our greatest spiritual teachers. My own experience has convinced me tat f you follow your desire, it will take you on a journey, in the course of which you will gain immense wisdom, strength and compassion".
Life is a journey, or so they say around here. But what if life is a series of deaths and rebirths, not a linear travel event?
I am often struck by how many time I get caught up in " if I just finish this next bit of challenging work / dullness / difficulty, then my life will be 'on the right track'.
Instead, I find it more empowering to go along the lines of 'that part of my life is now decreased and now I have been re-born into something else which I am navigating with grace'!
So here we are finding ourselves in 2016 and wondering what lies in store for us. Sitting round the campfire at my New Years camp the conversations ranged far and wide - one of them about universal love. So how does that really apply down here on Earth? It doesn't look so great when I look too close at the human condition. So how can I find the light on the hill? How do I overcome cynicism and despair about the world? Universal love can seem a very abstract concept at times. Breathwork is a tool to help unlock the doors of perception into worlds which are less divided, less separate, less isolating.
According to Johann Hari, author of 'Chasing The Scream: The First And Last Days of the War on Drugs',
'Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. But we have created an environment and a culture that cut us off from connection, or offer only the parody of it offered by the Internet. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in the way we live - constantly directing our gaze towards the next shiny object we should buy, rather than the human beings all around us.
The writer George Monbiot has called this "the age of loneliness." We have created human societies where it is easier for people to become cut off from all human connections than ever before.... for too long, we have talked exclusively about individual recovery from addiction. We need now to talk about social recovery - how we all recover, together, from the sickness of isolation that is sinking on us like a thick fog.'
Inspired Breath retreats provide the setting for us to truly connect to ourselves and each other.
Just going through some older notes - these two paragraphs nail why Breathwork can reset our nervous systems to receive more pleasure and less dreariness.
Expansion and the Capacity to Experience Pleasure
by Maryanna Eckberg
'A survival mode of functioning results in construction on the body and in the experience and activity of shock trauma, resulting in a diminished capacity for pleasure. Over-stimulation of the nervous system makes it difficult to let down into a relaxed parasympathetic state necessary for pleasurable activities. Fixation on the traumas – all roads lead to the trauma – due to over-coupling and to state-dependent memory also contributes to a pleasureless existence.
Helping people to develop their sensory awareness is not only essential in renegotiating the integrating the traumatic experiences, but is also the avenue to expansion into a more pleasurable mode of existence.'
Rising In Love. What does it mean? It means having the courage to face the shadow of ourselves, rather than projecting our wish fulfillment onto our partner or new flame. It means weeding out self sabotage and building intimacy with our internal landscape. It doesn't mean making ourselves perfect. We rise in awareness of our capacity to love our 'everything'. Everything that brought us to this point in time. As the Breathwork we do on this retreat takes us deeper, there is no final point at which we have arrived, rather it's a discovery of how to connect with our bliss when all our barriers come down. As the barriers come down, love rises.